Don't be a bossy boss
If you want your people to perform well, you have to show them that you trust their instincts!
There's nothing worse than a bossy boss!
Are you a natural leader?
Someone your team happily follow to success?
Is your leadership innate – or is your position only maintained by your constant reminders to everyone else, that you’re in charge, and they have to do your bidding?
If you’re the latter, you might be “A Bossy Boss” (and I promise, that’s the kindest way your people phrase it!)
“A Bossy Boss” is a leader who demands they are treated with authority – and one who feels they need to demand it is never in a position of genuine strength.
Let me paint the picture: the sole focus of a bossy boss is ‘me, myself and I’ – the importance of their own position and reputation. Someone who relies on everyone around them knowing “I am in charge!” but, somehow, the blame for any failings in the business always seem to fall on someone (anyone) else.
A bossy boss thinks they’re the best – but everyone on the outside knows that successful leaders do not begin and end with ‘I’. They focus their efforts on ‘we’ – on the business, on the growth of the brand, and – most importantly – on the people who make up their teams.
A great leader embodies the ethos and values of the organisation. Cares about the growth and success of their people, not only as part and parcel of the business, but as individuals who are all focused on their own growth and development. Leads by example, acknowledging their own ongoing development, and identifying opportunities to learn something new, to celebrate someone else’s skills or achievements, and brings those skills together to create a better whole because of the shared knowledge and expertise everyone else brings. In other words, it’s never about the leader, and they aren’t the focus – they aren’t looking for accolades, or telling people about their own brilliance – because they know that the business can only achieve brilliance when everybody gets to thrive.
For those who are new to leadership it can be daunting – and it’s easy to fall into the trap of watching too closely. Wanting to keep your eye on everything makes sense – but it can quickly tip over from ‘got my finger on the pulse’ to micromanaging, nagging, and making your people feel like you don’t trust them to do their own jobs. Micromanaging, or ensuring that you’re involved in every single process, decision and action, might give a leader a sense of power – but power is a slippery slope to power hungry…
That doesn’t make for a great leader. Worse, it doesn’t make for a happy team, or a successful business.
How can you avoid those pitfalls, and be a great leader – one who really doeshave their finger on the pulse, and great oversight on what’s being achieved, without being “A Bossy Boss”?
1. We, not I
The bossy boss is full of ‘I’ and self-importance, but a leader is more interested in the success of the whole – in the positive steps the team take to develop, grow and succeed.
If you want to be a leader who inspires greatness, and leaves a legacy of positive change and permanent growth in the people you lead, you have to understand that even the highest tower relies on the strength of its foundations.
Your people are your foundation – and you have to invest in their growth, and the security and stability they deserve in their work, in order to rise – with them – as part of a ‘we’.
Lead by example, and keep the balance of power in the hands of the whole – because every member of your team is equally vital to the organisation’s overall success, and your job as the leader is to make sure they know that.
2. Feedback, not criticism
No matter how experienced your people are, mistakes are inevitable. It can be very frustrating – but berating someone, humiliating them, criticising them (especially in front of their peers) could be terribly damaging – for that individual, and for the business.
As a leader, your role is to get to the bottom of why these mistakes were made. To put plans into place that repair any damage done, and then help everyone to avoid those mistakes being made again, without anger or blame.
It’s human to care – but leaders must remember that everyone else involved has feelings too, which might also need to be managed! (Remember not to go too far the other way either, or you risk avoiding difficult topics, for fear of hurting people!)
Your people should be at the heart of your business – so it’s vital that leaders can have difficult conversations without being difficult.
3. Lead, don’t drive
There is an enormous difference between a boss who issues commands, ruthlessly driving people towards a goal no matter what, and a leader who stands before their people, guiding their journey.
A great leader should be seen by their people, guiding their team by encouraging everyone to work as a cohesive whole. Leading by example – modelling the values and attitude you want to see, and bringing everyone forward together, celebrating their successes, praising every contribution, and encouraging people as they learn and develop in their work.
The bossy boss is usually seen bullying and pushing people, from a position of safety, away from any of the risks being taken – because that gives them space to claim that mistakes or failings are the fault of others.
Teach your workforce to strive for more, for better, and lead the way, pushing your own boundaries and expanding your own knowledge alongside theirs.
4. Listen more than you talk
Of course your job, as a leader, is essentially telling people what to do – you can’t lead if you aren’t actually leading – but as important as your plans and instructions are for the future of the business, it’s vitally important to hear your people.
There are ideas, inspiration, intelligence and new directions happening in every mind, at every level of the business – from the most experienced CEO to the most junior part-time admin assistant, from the sales director to the shop-front volunteer.
Giving everyone opportunities to voice their opinion and ideas – and, more importantly, actually hearing those ideas – is what helps your team to feel connected, cohesive and whole.
A leader might be the most experienced person (or just have been there the longest?) so may you do know everything…but it seems unlikely, and if your people don’t feel safe or confident to give feedback, make suggestions, or voice their own ideas and expertise, you’re letting everyone down.
Trust your people – trust their ideas, and you’ll show them that they can trust your leadership in return.
5. Reward, don’t punish
There are two basic approaches to getting more from your people.
First is fear – fear of punishment (losing their position or income) and the pressure of ‘do more, do bigger, do better, or else’ – which can work, for a fleeting time, before people burn out.
Alternatively – reward your people. Not only your highest performers, but everyone, and not just for the big stuff. A lot of companies offer incentives and commission, with those who achieve more being rewarded with higher incomes or prizes – but don’t overlook the importance and impact that comes from simpler things: acknowledging and celebrating the successes of different people in your teams, no matter what their role. Praise and gratitude can go a long way to bolstering someone’s confidence and their ongoing increased success.
Praise and reward show that you are invested in their success, grateful for the benefits they bring to the business, and involved in their development and growth. Not only is this a great way to encourage your team, it builds a culture where they’ll want to develop their skills, and progress in their careers. As well as creating a great relationship with your people, which will encourage them to stay and develop with your organisation, rather than looking elsewhere, you’ll then also gain stronger, more experienced, more confident teams.
6. Show, don’t tell
Most importantly, above all the other tips and guidance we could offer, the key top great leadership is…don’t be a hypocrite!
Don’t tell your workforce what to do, and constantly ask for proof that they are working – instead, lead by example. Show them what you expect from them by delivering your own work well, and that you’re not there to dictate anything. Great leaders are at the head of a cohesive team, who all have the same goals in mind, and rely on shared skills, experience and knowledge that comes from so many different people, with different lives, and who are all equally valuable to the success of the organisation.
Show your workforce how to run a business, how to aim high and reach your targets, and how to plan ahead for the developing industry that you’re in – and take them on that journey with you.
You should be winning and failing together, so that you can all celebrate the successes and understand the losses in a way that means you’re always moving forward.
A culture where successes are shared just as much as problems means people are more confident in asking for help. Needing help should never be seen as a weakness, because it’s an opportunity for development, and a workplace where development matters will always find ways to succeed, together.

With decades of experience in leadership development and performance management, we are dedicated to helping your business leaders to reach their full potential – meaning that your entire organisation benefits.
If you’d like to be a great leader, and help your own people to thrive in their careers, we can help. How? Just ASK!
Call our team today on 01234 757575 to find out how we can get you to where you want to be.